Written By: Ashley Moser, LMFT, CEDS
Clinical Education Specialist at The Renfrew Center
Family therapy is often recommended for those pursuing eating disorder recovery, but why? In this post, we will discuss the reasons for having family involved in the treatment process and what you can expect from family therapy sessions.
Why is family therapy recommended in eating disorder recovery?
Since eating disorders occur in individuals, it can seem counterintuitive to involve other people. So much of the treatment process surrounds the medical, psychological and nutritional stability of the patient. So why is family therapy recommended for what is seemingly an individual issue?
Families are foundational
Families are our first experience with the world. We learn much of what we know about relationships, emotions, food and bodies from our families. We then tend to carry these memories and messages with us, well past the years that we live in our family homes.
Families impact and are impacted by change
Because families are foundational, making changes can have a domino effect. Whether the change involves developing an eating disorder or recovering from one, family members can influence how much change can occur. For example, it can be challenging to meet your nutritional needs in a family that frequently diets. Inversely, families who typically avoid emotions may start communicating and expressing their feelings as a result of a family member learning these skills in therapy.
Eating disorders are family disorders
Eating disorder symptoms often serve a function, especially in family systems. Symptoms can be a way of meeting unmet needs, ‘speaking’ for those who feel they cannot, soothing the loneliness when families are absent, or bringing a family together in crisis. While only one member of the family may be experiencing an eating disorder, the entire family is impacted not just by the disorder, but what it’s doing for the family.
While families are important and foundational, it is important to remember that involving families in the treatment process is not about blame. Eating disorders are complex illnesses that do not have a single identifiable cause. The purpose of family therapy is not to blame the family for causing or maintaining their loved one’s eating disorder, but to help the entire family heal. When the entire family heals, the eating disorder symptoms are no longer needed to serve certain functions.
Common myths about family therapy
Before we discuss what family therapy is, let’s look at what family therapy isn’t.
There are a lot of misconceptions about family therapy which may lead some to avoid involving families in the treatment and recovery process. Here are some common misunderstandings to reevaluate:
- Myth #1: Family therapy is only for adolescents: Family therapy is for everyone! While there are obvious reasons a therapist may recommend including the family of an adolescent, adult patients can benefit from family involvement just as much.
- Myth #2: Family therapy always means conflict: While family therapy can be a safe space to discuss and process emotional wounds, disagreements and disputes, family therapy is not just a meeting for families to quarrel. Trained therapists ensure safe environments during family sessions both physically and emotionally. Conflict can occur in sessions; however, most family sessions address core issues that allow for all to grow and heal.
- Myth #3: Family therapy is only for biological family: Family therapy is a term used to encompass a broad definition of family. The patient defines their family and, therefore, anyone can attend. Friends, neighbors, coworkers etc. The point is to bring in people who can benefit from education and skills to better support the health of their loved one and their relationship.
So, what can you expect from a family therapy session in eating disorder treatment?
What to expect from family therapy sessions
Family therapy sessions can vary based on the individual needs of each patient and family. However, there are some common themes that you can anticipate. Here are a few:
- Education: Many people don’t learn about eating disorders until they have to. Prior to treatment, many family members have little awareness and understanding of eating disorders, even if someone in their home is actively struggling. Family therapy sessions provide foundational eating disorder education in addition to exploring the specific functions the eating disorder may be serving within the family. Families who understand that eating disorders are emotional disorders can offer more effective support and often make more sustainable changes in their relationships.
- Communication: It can feel uncomfortable for families to deviate from engrained communication patterns. Family therapy can help illuminate the unhelpful communication patterns in the family and provide a safe space to learn and practice new ways of expressing and connecting. This is a common need in many families and is often vital for long term recovery.
- Emotional Tolerance: All emotions are helpful and adaptive, but not everyone feels this way! How families view and approach their emotions can set the tone for how emotions are tolerated, not only in the household, but also into adulthood. Family therapy will provide education on emotions and encourage all members of the family to lean into emotion and move away from any unhelpful avoidance patterns. This can be another crucial factor in sustainable long-term change.
- Boundaries: Boundaries can be challenging to implement and maintain in families, especially when they need to be changed. Family therapy can help identify boundaries that need to be adjusted for the family to function more adaptively. Depending on the family and its relational dynamics, this may mean setting new boundaries or increasing the flexibility in existing boundaries.
Conclusion
While a seemingly individual issue, eating disorders are often best treated when families are a part of the process. Families are foundational and can be vital contributors to the recovery process. Though many may initially want to avoid involving family due to misconceptions about what family therapy will be like, so many benefits can occur when a family system understands the complexity of an eating disorder while improving communication skills and validating emotional experiences.
The Renfrew Center is here to help. If you are looking to include family therapy in your recovery process, here are a few ways The Renfrew Center can support you:
- Program services: Multi-Family Group, Support Persons Group/Services, family therapy as a component of all levels of care.
- Website resources: Blogs, Articles, Podcast Episodes
- Online Webinars and Trainings
