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Getting in Touch with My Authentic Self

By: Ebonia M., alum of The Renfrew Center of Southern New Jersey

When I first started program in January, my eating disorder convinced me I would be done with program soon, hopefully in time for school. However, my gut told me something different. It told me to not start school again, a warning I ignored only to find my instincts were right. By March, I was back in day program full time and was on medical leave for school. This was when my recovery truly began.  

My time at Renfrew taught me how to be in touch with my authentic self. It was the first time I was not ashamed of how I was feeling and was able to let those feelings come up. I was able to ask for help when I needed it, and it was the first time I could see more clearly than ever what I wanted my life to feel like. Most importantly, it was the first time I felt like I was not alone. 

In program I learned what I was missing in my life was real connections with the people in my life. I learned the only way to have a real relationship is to be honest and vulnerable with myself and with my loved ones. Being vulnerable every day in program made it easier to apply to my personal life. 

Program changed my life, and although I am just beginning my recovery from my eating disorder, I know Renfrew will forever be in my heart and will always remind me of a time in my life when I truly became me. 

“Everything has changed and yet, I am more me than I’ve ever been.” -Unknown

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