Written by: Erin Birely, LCPC
Alumni Services Coordinator at The Renfrew Center
Because we live in a culture obsessed with thinness and dieting, it can be challenging for parents to recognize when their child’s thinking or behavior around food becomes dangerous. Prevention is critical and starts at home.
As a parent, you play a powerful role in shaping your child’s relationship with food, body image, and self-esteem. Children with eating disorders may try to hide their struggles, but their lives often revolve—obsessively—around food and weight. Some may restrict food intake to dangerous levels, while others may engage in cycles of bingeing and purging. These disorders are not just a phase—they are serious illnesses that can impact your child’s physical and mental health and, if left untreated, may even become life-threatening. But with the right knowledge and approach, you can help prevent them.
Can You Prevent an Eating Disorder?
While it’s not always possible to prevent an eating disorder, creating a healthy environment at home can significantly reduce the risk. Parents play a critical role in shaping their children’s attitudes toward food, weight, and body image. By fostering a balanced approach to eating and exercise and modeling positive self-esteem, you can lay a strong foundation for your child to develop a healthy relationship with food.
Prevention also involves being proactive. Educate yourself about eating disorders, their warning signs, and risk factors. Early detection can make a world of difference, so if you notice concerning behaviors, such as excessive dieting, an unusual focus on calories, or frequent negative body talk, don’t hesitate to address these issues with care and compassion.
Here are actionable do’s & don’ts to guide your approach:
Do:
- Start Googling. Learn about some of the basics around eating disorders, especially how they typically present. This will help you recognize the signs when you see them, which could potentially be earlier than you would otherwise.
- Understand the consequences of eating disorders on physical and psychological health. (Eating disorders are potentially fatal diseases and must be treated accordingly.)
- Listen to the individual with understanding, respect and sensitivity.
- Tell the person that you are concerned, you care, and you would like to help. Suggest that the person seek professional help from a physician and/or therapist.
- Be available when your child needs someone to talk to.
- Discuss things other than food, weight, counting calories and exercise. Attempt to talk about feelings instead.
- Share your own vulnerabilities and struggles in coping with life.
- Examine your own beliefs and feelings about body image and weight and consider how your attitudes, comments or nonverbal responses are being communicated to your children.
- Encourage healthy eating and exercise.
- Allow your child to determine when they are full.
- Talk about different body types and how they can all be accepted and appreciated.
- Discuss the dangers of dieting.
- Show your children you love them for who they are, not because of how they look.
Don’t:
- Don’t take any action alone. Get help.
- Don’t try to solve the problem for them. They need a qualified professional.
- Don’t blame them for doing something wrong or tell them they are acting silly.
- Don’t gossip about them.
- Don’t focus on weight, the number of calories being consumed or particular eating habits.
- Don’t make comments about their appearance. Concern about weight loss may be interpreted as a compliment and comments about weight gain may be seen as criticism.
- Don’t be afraid to upset them; talk with them.
- Don’t reject or ignore them; they need you.
- Don’t get involved in a power struggle around eating or other behaviors.
- Don’t be deceived by their excuses.
- Don’t label foods as “good” or “bad.”
- Don’t use food as a reward or punishment.
- Don’t diet or encourage your child to diet.
- Don’t comment on weight or body types: yours, your child’s or anyone else’s.
- Don’t let anyone ridicule, blame or tease your child.
How Outside Influences May Affect Eating Behavior
- The culture of disordered eating is pervasive in our society. Following are ways we might affect eating behavior without even knowing it:
- Praising or glorifying a person based on body size or appearance.
- Complimenting someone when they lose weight or diet.
- Encouraging someone to lose weight.
- Talking negatively about our bodies.
- Discussing measurements, weights or clothing sizes.
- Thinking of foods as “good” or “bad.”
- Making fun of another person’s eating habits or food choices.
- Criticizing your own eating.
- Considering a person’s weight as an important factor of who they are.
- Saying someone is “healthy” or “well” because they are thin.
- Expecting perfection.
- Pushing an individual to exercise more than is necessary or healthy.
- Assuming that a fat person wants or needs to lose weight.
- Agreeing with the media’s view about what body types are acceptable or attractive.
Tips to Share with Your Kids
Starting conversations about body image and eating habits can empower children to build confidence and self-acceptance. Here are some practical, age-appropriate tips to foster a healthy mindset:
- No food is “good” or “bad.” Everything from pizza to carrots to peanut butter and candy can be part of a healthy menu.
- Eat when you are hungry. Stop when you are full. Try to do this most of the time.
- Don’t eat because you are bored, sad or angry. Find something interesting to do or someone to talk with instead.
- Stay fit by exercising. You can take up a sport or join a class like dance or karate, but you don’t have to. Playing with friends can be just as energizing and fun!
- All bodies are different. People of all shapes and sizes can eat well and be healthy.
- Teasing hurts. Don’t take part in it, especially if it is about a person’s body, weight or size.
- Remember that fat does not equal bad and thin does not equal good.
- If you’re unhappy with your body or weight, talk to an adult. Parents, school nurses and teachers can often give you valuable information and support.
Conclusion
Preventing eating disorders starts with education, open communication, and fostering a culture of acceptance. By modeling healthy attitudes toward food and body image, and by addressing harmful behaviors early, you can help create a supportive environment for your children.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Seeking guidance from professionals, joining support networks, and staying informed can empower you to make a positive difference. Together, we can challenge the culture of disordered eating and promote lifelong health and well-being.
